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Posts Tagged ‘Tina Fey’

In 2013, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will host the Golden Globes. Here’s the NY Daily News sub headline:

“The comedic duo will be taking over for Ricky Gervais, who manned the hosting duties for three years.”

Not sure if that humor is intended, but this hosting gig is a huge victory for women. Fey and Poehler will become the first female duo ever to host this high profile awards show.

Tina Fey is a pioneer. She was the first female head writer ever of “Saturday Night Live,” a notoriously male dominated show that launched the career of many high profile male comedians from John Belushi to Adam Sandler. Fey’s brilliant book, Bossypants, was a best-seller. One of my favorite sections was her beautiful prayer for her daughter. Like Fey, Amy Poehler is a groundbreaker as well; she’s funny, smart, beautiful, a mom, and the star of her own show. Even cooler, both women are…FRIENDS.

Winning this hosting job helps to repudiate ridiculous but persistent myths about women, mainly: (1) Women aren’t funny (2) “Pretty” women aren’t funny (3) Women aren’t friends (4) Women can’t work together (5) Moms aren’t high-profile, breadwinners, funny, smart, or sexy.

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Tina Fey’s prayer for her daughter:

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be beautiful but not damaged, for it’s the damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from acting but not all the way to finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes and not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the drums to the fiery rhythm of her own heart with the sinewy strength of her own arms, so she need not lie with drummers.

Grant her a rough patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, for childhood is short – a tiger flower blooming magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, for I will not have that shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. My mother did this for me once, she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a mental note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with your God eyes.

Amen.

 

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Tina Fey defines crazy in The New Yorker:

Science show that fertility and movie offers drop off steeply for women after forty. The baby-versus-work life questions keep the writer up at night. She has observed that women, at least in comedy, are labeled “crazy” after a certain age. The writer has the suspicion that the definition of “crazy” in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore. The fastest remedy for this “women are crazy” situation is for more women to become producers and hire diverse women of various ages. That is why the writer feels obligated to stay in the business, and that is why she can’t possibly take time off for a second baby, unless she does, in which case that is nobody’s business. Does the writer want to have another baby? Or does she just want to turn back time and have her daughter be a baby again?

Thank you Tina Fey for being smart, funny, and beautiful. Who knew a woman could be all 3? And did I mention, she’s a mom?

Fey is also right on about producers. I’m really beginning to feel (partly because of this blog) like there’s little significant difference between fiction and non-fiction. Before I felt like non-fiction writing really mattered. But the fantasy world shapes our reality, what we expect, and what we hope for, which in turn shapes our fantasy world again. If women can find ways to get their stories out there– as producers, writers, publishers, whatever– the world will change.

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Last night Tina Fey reprised her Sarah Palin role on Saturday Night Live. I’m psyched Tina Fey’s brilliant parody is back. Not only is she hilarious, but her portrayals of the politician in 2008 were instrumental in turning America on to the silliness of Palin’s candidacy.

Tina Fey as  Sarah Plain

Tina Fey was funny last night as usual, but here’s a new idea: instead of depicting Sarah Palin in her signature updo, Fey should show her losing her look because now she’s joined Fox, home of the pornstar/ anchor.

Here’s the skit.

SARAH PALIN GETS ‘FOXIFIED‘ (scary music)

Tina Fey is in her dressing room at Fox News. She’s got big, blonde Fox woman anchor hair, a bright pink suit with cleavage and new, large breasts. She’s surrounded by make up artists, hairdressers, stylists etc, all putting the finishing touches on her new look.

Make-up artist: “For your debut on Fox News, we want to keep it kind of natural. We’re just going with some rouge, some foundation, a little concealer, some blush, some mascara, some eyeshadow, some lipstick, some powder, some bronzer…”

Sarah Palin trying to wait patiently, finally interrupts, still looking at herself in the mirror: “I’m just not sure about the hair.”

Hairdresser: “Oh, it’s great! I’ve done lots of famous people– Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag, Denise Richards, Kate Gosselin. Not a lot of people know this…” He bends down to her, “But they all had lots of problems. Their hair was…brown.”

SP: “What’s the matter with brown hair?”

HD: “Oh, nothing, honey. It’s just, you know, sometimes it can make you look… smart.”

Other make up people and stylist people nod.

SP: (Pats her hair) “Does everyone here get this kind of treatment?”

 

MA: “Oh, yes, sure. Although with guests, sometimes we just make suggestions. You know Anne Coulter? She used to weigh over 100 pounds.”

Bald and fat Fox News president, Roger Ailes enters, saying, “We’re so happy to have you here, Sarah. Come on out, lets meet your colleagues.”

RA puts his hand on SP’s back and leads her out of hair/make-up room.

There’s a group of blonde haired, big breasted, heavily made up women. Sarah Palin starts shaking their hands, smiling.

SP: “I’m so happy to meet you. I’m so excited to be part of the team.”

RA: “No, Sarah. Those are Tiger Woods mistresses. They’re about to go on Greta’s show.”

SP: “Oh.” (Looking confused)

RA: “Here are your colleagues.” He gestures to as second group of women, identical in look and dress to the first.

SP excitedly shakes hands.

RA: “You really look great Sarah. As you know, presentation is a big part of making the Fox Network a success. Hey look, here’s the star of the network!”

Enter Bill O’Reilly, looking slovenly and bald.

SP: “I’m a big fan!” She pumps Bill’s hand.

Other male stars get introduced until there’s a crowd of old, fat balding men. Sarah stands in front of women and men, everyone clapping and patting her on the back. Sarah faces the audience, smiling triumphantly. SP: “I’m so proud to be a part of this network! I can’t wait for my show go out to all 60 states! From Quebec all the way to Juneau, to tell America for the first time, Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night Fever!”

Please read my related post When women join the Fair and Balanced network, they get FOXIFIED.

 

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